Doing it with style

Its all very well, understanding the theory intellectually – actually, its hardly intellectual, its more like common sense – but can we really put the theory into practice?
Of course we all understand the importance of being tolerent of people who have different approaches to things than we do; after all, creativity aside, its simply good manners. And when all is sunny in the garden, its quite easy to practice this tolerance.
However, ive noticed that its not such a rosy concept when im in a situation of high stress.

The case in point recently was when working with an associate who was very focused on working out the fine details of a problem, while I was happy to see what might emerge from a more open / chaotic(?) approach. Neither approach was any better or worse than the other and both would have solved the problem quite adequately, and under normal circumstances we would have talked it through and solved the situation in good spirits. However in this case, we were under pressure of the view of the client and a group of stakeholders… time and reputation were at stake.
As the more “relaxed” of the partnership, I sensed that I should back off and let my associate lead and fix the problem (I certainly didn’t want the client to sense a panic or dischord). The sequence of events that followed were a fascinating insight for me into my own style and ability to accommodate the style of others

Even though I had “withdrawn” from the problem in order to minimise the number of cooks who could potentially spoil the broth, I could feel the tension in the air as my associate pressed on to calculate the fine details of a solution and was not going to let go it until complete. The stress was becoming obvious and I was beginning to absorb it. Not only did I not agree with the approach, I was also receiving the stress of someone elses elusive solution in front of our stakeholders! Arrgh!

What should I have done? Well on reflection we should have explicitly acknowledged our differences, taken a deep breath and asked ourselves if there might be a 3rd alternative? A combination of our approaches or a completely new approach?
Styles. They really can get in the way of solving a problem sometimes. And when we are stressed as well… we need to invest great effort in controlling our run-away minds as they naturally and unconsciously try to revert to our natural style